first John Shields clip:
voice-over? we should establish PLACE - setting for the film. The film doesn't take place in Gertruids, but as John Smith is talking we have a great opportunity to use shots of Baltimore / and/or historical footage/photographs/paintings etc. from the enocj pratt maryland room
transition to modern footage as the second narration segment is introduced
definitely use voice over for Winne as he leans forward and talks about stores and transportation.
Winne sounds too rapid-fire. We can space out his narratve with supporting footage
also he seemed kind of overwhelming. Try to edit him down to a few central points.
Barrage of information is difficult to take
clean up santoni give him a bath or something
blur out dietz and watson logo
adapt to community... cut! to harsh
10 FOR 10 GREEN BEANS
jessup segue from Santoni
we should use outdoor location shots of MFCA before we go inside and talk to the dude at Coosemans
ESTABLISH SETTINGS / LOCATION - WHERE ARE WE? HOW DID WE GET THERE? too many jump cuts damn
we should have shots of US doing things. If we are characters, we need to be visible
the coosemans guy looks like a goomba
we could write limricks or poems for the narration
WHO YOU GONNA CALL GHOSTBUSTAS
We began to realize where most of our food is coming from, out of state. After visiting MFCA we realized that the food system is a huge and unruly beast. Where is our local food? Do oranges really need to come from South America? ISN'T THERE A BETTER WAY? OH GOD WHY
what makes springfield farms different is that David Smith is a magical dwarf
we could use a graph to illustrate the egg nutrition study. It would be visually stunning.
Don't date farmers' markets s concretely
John Shields is like our comic relief
IT'S LIKE IRON CHEF
Kate Clancy is going to be TRIPPY AS HELL
come on guys loosen up
backdrop: new york city being eliminated
honestly we are art students let's do something fun with this. it's not my fault Kate Clancy was uptight.
segue from David Smith to Great Kids - John shields is coming in at the middle of a story and it sounds awkward
I think that these seven solutions don't need to be explicitely stated. We can make the segue without saying AND NOW HERE ARE SOME SOLUTIONS. SOLUTION #1 IS:
get rid of david smith's "so yes in that regard"
the ending is confused. It feels like we are framing people's statements, putting words in their mouths. Let them speak for themselves. We don't need the narrator telling us what they are saying.
THE FUTURE OF MEAT FARMS
i really like that guy in tha fish lab
Kate Clancy could function AS THE NARRATOR near the end here
David Smith repeats himself at the end
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